


The Final Nail in the Coffin

by AnHeiressofaSOLDIER



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Canon, Friendship, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Spiritual, generic, madohomu and kyosaya hints, platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2004567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnHeiressofaSOLDIER/pseuds/AnHeiressofaSOLDIER
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A continuation of the "Sunny Day Life" drama. After the girls have eaten over at Mami's, Homura is quick to volunteer to help her with her dishes. There, the two girls are quick to strike up a conversation. And as other things begin happening all around her, Homura finds herself remembering why it was that she'd valued the other girl's friendship so much and why she still needs it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Final Nail in the Coffin

**Author's Note:**

> Possible slight spoilers for Kazumi Magica, so tread carefully if you haven't read that.

**The Final Nail in the Coffin**

"If you don't mind my asking, where did you learn to eat spaghetti, Akemi-san?" Homura looked up, startled, as Tomoe Mami came over to talk to her in the small kitchenette.

Frowning, because this hadn't been something that had occurred in any of the other timelines, Homura wondered what weird new scenario was likely to cook up and endanger Madoka's life now. Sadly, whenever anything new and exciting seemed to happen in a timeline, it always became a danger to Madoka.

And the look of shock and regret that appeared on Mami's face as she sized Homura's expression up seemed to agree with her on the fact; it made sense, Homura supposed, seeing as how the other girls were much more... knowledgeable about the alternate universes in this universe than they had been in any other.

Idly, Homura wondered just what it was that had prompted her filling everyone in on her dirty little secrets this time around. Hadn't she learned her lesson about doing that in the third timeline?

"Tomoe-san," Homura muttered, as she put down the dish that she'd been helping wash, alongside Madoka—sometime during it, though, the rose colored hair girl had wandered off to go see Sayaka, and thus had left Homura all by her lonesome.

"What is it I can do for you? I'm afraid I don't understand your query, exactly. Are you perhaps asking if I learned how to do so from you in another timeline?" Homura asked pleasantly enough, as she set to drying the dish and enjoyed the presence of Mami standing beside her.

Whilst she might have had her renovations about Mami after the certain... incident from timeline three, the fact was that Homura still cared about Mami a lot more than she wished she did. She had been one of her first friends alongside Madoka, after all.

In fact, everything Madoka had learned about being a Magical Girl she'd gotten from Mami, so to that end... were it not for Mami, Homura wondered if there even would have been something in Madoka that she would have seen as worth saving. And if that were the case, and Madoka had never met Tomoe-san, than her life would have always been without purpose and love, wouldn't it have?

"You're giving me too much the benefit of the doubt, Akemi-san!" Mami chastised, as she smiled good-naturedly and moved forward to bop Homura on the arm lightly. Startled—because as much as she tried to fight it, Mami's touch reminded her of when the yellow magician had tied her up many a time and had tried to hurt her in the past—Homura tried to decide if she was more surprised in receiving and accepting a friendly gesture from the blonde girl, or for the fact that Mami had somewhat just thrown herself under the bus.

It was no secret to Homura anymore, of course, that Mami somewhat put on a show when she was trying to be the cool Magical Girl senpai, but Homura had never thought that Tomoe Mami would actually ever admit to not being perfect. But this was quite the different timeline, indeed, so perhaps anything went in it?

Oblivious to the millions of thoughts Homura was having in her head at the moment, Mami continued on unperturbed, "Actually... I'm expressing concern about if one of my ribbons ever found its way into a spaghetti dish I made for you. If so, I apologize profusely, Akemi-san. You see... I first learned to roll spaghetti by using one of my ribbons to tie back the noodles that were falling off the fork.

"And since you seemed to eat the pasta as easily as I now can... I'm worried about how you learned to do so, I guess. I had hoped I was less of a busy body than to force my guests to use any means necessary to not get spaghetti sauce all over themselves, but-."

Raising an eyebrow at Mami's long winded speech, just as the other girl began busying herself by cutting up little pieces of sandwich meat to give to the other girls for snacks, Homura found herself wondering just what could have brought that particular spew on.

Was it, perhaps, a date that had to do with her parents? the time traveler wondered. If so, that could explain why she was so emotional over something as inconsequential as spaghetti.

Vaguely, in the back of her mind, Homura could remember her own parents teaching her how to eat the dish, before they realized they couldn't take care of her anymore and had had to give her to an orphanage.

Discreetly clenching her fist at her side, so as not to give Mami the sense that her words were a burden or anything like that, Homura tried to decide if that was a memory she wanted to share or not. But as she poked her head to the left, so that she could see through the yellow arch to where Madoka and Kyoko were both currently complaining about math, Homura decided that there was no harm in telling Tomoe Mami about her past in at least one timeline. Especially since the girls had saved Madoka from a witch's tentacles earlier that day.

"You needn't worry yourself, Tomoe Mami," Homura said as kindly as she could muster, as she allowed some of her favorite memories of the other magical girl to flood into her mind again. "You never had so much as a hair in any of the food you offered me, so it's not something you should despair over—I assure you of that. As for how I learned to eat the way I do, the credit for that goes to my parents. I only knew them when I was very young, but I believe my mother had spent some time in the more Italian parts of America. Yes, if I remember it correctly, my mother did seem to be from the United States."

"I am sorry for your loss, Akemi-san," Mami hummed it what sounded like a funeral dirge, as she began putting pieces of the roast beef she'd cut onto various hamburger buns, and also began sprinkling some shredded cheese onto the slices.

It was only when Homura noted that Mami was looking down to complete her task, while all the while looking somber, that Homura remembered how Mami often did things that reflected her mood. And since she was momentarily empathizing with her companion, so was she also looking down listlessly at her project.

To be completely honest, though, Homura wasn't sure whether or not Mami was sad for her having being left by her parents, barely knowing them, and not getting to see where they came from or all three of the above. Given the way that Mami cherished her parents so and still felt much regret for them—but also relief, for having gotten to be with them—Homura sensed that it was the latter.

"I know as Puella Magi, we have a certain reputation to uphold and that we must never falter and be tough at all times... But, it's okay, if you ever need some time to yourself, to think about things. And if you ever want to talk to me, Akemi-san, I'm here for you. We Magical Girls with similar view points should stick together, or so I've always thought."

As Homura stood frozen by all that Mami had just said, she remembered that it was for times like this that it really was best that she distanced herself from everyone else. She was beginning to like Tomoe Mami far too much again, and that was dangerous for many reasons. She'd all ready learnt that she couldn't save everyone—and that thinking so would just make her turn into a witch, so why... why did she have to fall into this trap again?

She didn't want to be put into a situation of having to choose between Madoka and Mami, but when it came down to it... she would always choose Madoka. And there were days—though Homura would very rarely admit it to herself—that she wondered if that was really the right thing to do.

As it stood, Madoka was far too naive and kind hearted for a Magical Girl, and if the day ever came that any of them could awaken from this nightmare... Homura knew that with her luck, Madoka would die at the beginning of their next month together, when there'd be nothing she could do about it since her wish only ever let her travel back to the beginning of March.

And then... everything she'd done would be for nothing, wouldn't it? All ready, Homura was beginning to think that that was the case, so why not try to do something else with her powers, then, and try to save the person who had taught Kaname Madoka?

But if she ever did truly ever start doubting her wish to save Madoka, Homura knew that it would send her into a dark depression that would birth a witch. In the end, she really was trapped in an endless maze, wasn't she?

"Did I say something wro-" Mami began saying, as she no doubt noted Homura's completely shut down expression and body language. For just a moment, Homura thought about glaring angrily at the girl or lashing out at her. Especially since she'd, annoyingly, just quoted one of Homura's exact speeches that she herself had been against in another timeline.

And furthermore… Mami was lying about understanding her need to cry; in every other timeline where she did cry to herself for Madoka, everyone always assumed she was doing something evil and hated her for it, Homura remembered bitterly.

Cutting that thought off, though—before it could lead her even more down the rabbit hole, that she wanted to pretend didn't exist for the time being—Homura decided to put the negativity behind her for the time being, and to focus on the goodness that this timeline had given her so far. Who knew? Maybe this would even be the one where she finally cracked the code.

Remembering the nice conversation from a moment prior, Homura was able to lie with some sincerity as she said, "Ahh, forgive me, Tomoe-Mami. I'm afraid I was hit with a bout of laziness. And when I realized I was cleaning your dishes for no reason, when you're just going to dirty them up again with these sandwiches for us, I became a bit resentful. However, talking about these things with you has, as you said, made me feel much better, so I also apologize profusely for my coldness."

"Akemi-san..." Mami mumbled amidst tears, as she clutched a hand to her heart and looked Homura over with the oddest of expressions.

How strange- Homura thought to herself, as she soon found herself caught up in the other girl's embrace. She'd said what she had so as to  _not_ elicit any extreme emotions from Tomoe Mami: she had wanted their evening to continue on, as it had been so why was it that her words had seemed to have the opposite affect?

Was Tomoe Mami, mayhaps, happy that someone had listened enough to her to repeat her words about "apologizing profusely" back to her? Or was it something else entirely? She wasn't... she wasn't somehow remembering the previous timelines like Madoka had once, was she?

"Tomoe... Tomoe Mami?" Homura choked out, as she clutched the other girl's school uniform—wondering if she should push the golden magi away from her, and return to a proper position, or actually allow herself to comfort her dear friend from the past. "I don't- I don't understand. Did I say something to upset you this time? Why are you hugging me?" And though Homura hated herself for thinking it, the moment the words played out in her mind, she wondered just how this moment was going to end up affecting Mami's emotions and status reports in the future.

If Homura had expected an answer from Mami immediately, she would have disappointed when the girl moved slightly to try and dry her eyes some, but didn't try to explain or walk away from the situation at all.

And though Homura was uncertain as hell about it all, and just what she should be saying or doing in the situation, she found that it was therapeutic, in a way; that the girl that had once tried to murder her—something Homura had been forever terrified about since it had happened—was now holding her like she was some precious artifact that needed to be protected.

"I... I suppose I feel contrite, Akemi-san, for never giving much thought until now about what all you must have went through and will perhaps continue to do so. Why, just a moment ago, I must have said something to trigger some sort of awful memory of yours. Is that why you reacted as you did?"

To put it simply, Homura was completely baffled by the show of affection that Mami was showing her. And though the purple magical girl was enjoying the feeling of being loved profusely—that was all she'd ever wanted, really—the fact of the matter was that she was now far too damaged to be able to take any of it in stride.

So pushing away from Mami and smiling a bit falsely, Homura made some sort of excuse about how she'd better make sure the other girls got their sandwiches before the fly swarming around them got to it, and she quickly exited into the other room.

…

"Homura-chan, are you okay? Your aura has seemed off ever since you spent that time with Mami-san. Do you want to talk about it?" Madoka asked, as she leaned her face closer to Homura's so, that she could seemingly try and inspect her face better.

And at once, that had Homura so much on edge, that that the first thing she wanted to do was push Madoka away from her. As much as she loved the heart of their group's touch—and she remembered well the time they'd brushed each other's cheeks, whilst sitting in that chair in the wilderness—too many bad things had come from it in the past.

"I'm perfectly fine, Madoka," Homura insisted as she took to scarfing down a turkey sandwich, so that she could assure her best friend, as well as make sure that Mami didn't think she'd been lying in caring about the sandwiches earlier. Though having to do both things was very unpleasant, Homura thought, as she then drank gingerly from her chamomile tea.

"It sounds to me that Homura got caught stealing from the cookie jar and now is trying to keep you from finding out about it, Madoka," Kyoko insisted tiredly from the other side of the table, as she broke off a piece of pocky with her teeth, and set to playing with Sayaka's hair, whilst the other girl slept. "After all, what was it that Kyubey said the two of them were doing earlier? Some sort of oral thing? Doesn't sound very innocent to me…"

Leave it to Kyoko, Homura though, to misinterpret Kyubey saying that she and Mami had been discussing important matters orally, and to turn it into something questionable. But that was just the type of life Sakura-san lived, Homura knew well.

Still… she didn't like that implication anymore than she had liked Hitomi's in another timeline about her secretly being in love with her. Honestly, it was sometimes a wonder to Homura that Kyoko came out of a Christian upbringing, like she herself had.

Then again… she really wasn't one to talk was she? As it stood, Homura knew that her hands were forever stained with more blood than that of any of her fellow Magical Girl, because it was she who had slaughtered countless Incubators, had destroyed many of her fellow Magical Girls in the form of their witches, and had killed the likes of Oriko and Kirika, and perhaps even more people.

It was all a blur to Homura now, and though she might have loathed herself for it, she knew she owed all that and more to the most decent person she'd ever met: Madoka.

"Sakura-san," Homura cut in irritably, though she tried to lessen her tone a bit, as Kyoko was one of the most valuable allies and friends she'd made in all of the time traveling she'd done. "If I were you, I wouldn't speak of such human desires in front of the Incubator. You don't want him to think of another way he can manipulate us, do you?" Homura stated coldly, though truthfully, as she knew far too well had Kyubey had manipulated Sakura Kyoko to die for Miki Sayaka in the past.

And furthermore, the fact that Kyoko had seemed to pick up Sayaka's love for teasing people—and was currently doing so, since Sayaka herself was too groggy for it—didn't speak well to Homura. If she was all ready emulating Sayaka in such peaceful times, Homura wasn't looking forward to what she might do if/when the cerulean haired girl began being judgmental again.

"Umm, I don't want to be a bother," Madoka stated, as she looked down at her feet subconsciously and also began pulling on her skirt uncertainly—a trait that she and the pinkette shared, Homura knew. "But has anyone seen Mami-san? I didn't notice it before, since Homura-chan seemed so upset and I wanted to see if she was okay, but I don't think Mami's been in here since you came in Homura…"

"Damn!" Kyoko hissed, upon slamming a few dumplings into her mouth and pounding down on the table roughly. "You're right, Mado-chan. Where do you think she went? You don't think the ghost from before was real and got to her, do you?!"

Well, that would certainly be the sort of thing that happened to her, Homura thought miserably, as she began berating herself for leaving Mami the way she had.

But… hadn't they all ready discovered that the disturbance from earlier had just been a cat stealing underwear for shelter? If there really had been a ghost that they'd missed, though, how would it have gotten over to where they were? Homura wondered furiously, as she bit into her lip, drawing blood.

Something didn't make sense. She hadn't thought about it before, seeing as how she'd been so caught up in living her happy life with the girls in this timeline, but if the Incubator had truly sensed an energy reading near Shizuki Hitomi's home before, there was no way that it had simply been a kitten. Kyubey only picked up on girls' potential and magical readings, so…

"And that's not all," Homura realized, as she noticed a certain, berating voice wasn't making itself known at the moment. "Miki Sayaka is yet to fully wake from her nap, either. And with as much of a light sleeper as she is, she should have woken up long ago. There must be a witch nearby, that's zapping Miki-san's strength, and…." And that might have lured Tomoe Mami in through a Witch's Kiss, Homura thought agitatedly, but refrained from saying it to make it true.

Cringing, at the way that Madoka screamed Sayaka's name heartbrokenly, as she desperately tried to wake her best friend even while sobbing, Homura was just about to set off and try and figure out what was happening by herself—she  _would_  protect her friends from whatever the Incubator was planning this time—but something brought her up short.

The person sitting in the seat that was usually designated for Miki Sayaka looked off somehow. Fake and wooden like, almost. And there was only one person that Homura knew with that power.

"Stop everyone and be quiet!" commanded Homura, just as the other two girls had seemed about to put on a multi-colored light show by transforming. If she angled herself and leaned her ear against the door just so, she was certain that she could make out the faint trace of voice-

"I can't  _believe_  you have the power to make clones of yourself!" Sayaka, the  _real_  Sayaka exclaimed, as she came filing into the room with her arms around a girl with long pigtails. A girl that Homura had only met once before, and was thinking very seriously about killing at the moment.

"That's way cool, Nico, and you know… we could really use that power on our team. Especially since Kyubey's revealed his dastardly plans to us. If we have any chance to one-up him, I think we should go for it, y'know? Haha!"

"Sayaka-chan?!" Madoka asked confusedly, looking from the fake Sayaka and then to the real one and back again. Clutching at her Soul Gem uncertainly, Madoka choked out in a broken whisper, "I don't- I don't understand…"

Now, usually Homura would have been all about making sure that Madoka was okay, had her answers, and that her Soul Gem wasn't filling up with despair at that very moment. But as it was, something else currently held Akemi Homura's attention: the fact that Tomoe Mami had yet to make a reappearance.

And as Homura knew about Nico and her power—as well as what it was that had set her off in the future—the violet Magi felt hyper concerned for the other girl's safety. Especially since it had been Tomoe Mami that had found Michiru—the person from which Nico had learned about Magical Girls from—and had led to her becoming a Magical Girl and being an example for the others. And if Nico was feeling regretful and down on everyone in her life again, that could very well make Mami a target, Homura thought with narrowed eyes.

Transforming as fast as she was able, so that Nico wouldn't be able to see it and deem the action a threat, Homura hissed quietly under her breath, "Sakura-san, fill Madoka in about Michiru and her friends, will you?" Then Homura pulled out her buckler and activated her time stop.

As everything froze in shades of blue and monochrome colors all around her, Homura let herself breathe in a sigh of relief. Though she hadn't expended as much sand on the time halt as she maybe should have, she convinced herself that she would have ample time to search the premises for Mami and save her before something terrible could happen.

So running outside of the apartment as fast as she was able, Homura turned her gaze this way and that: trying to find Mami anywhere in the dense night. And when she did, Homura felt her heart break.

Seated in the parking lot below them, it looked to Homura as though Mami was crying over a note she'd left herself about the girl she'd saved, Michiru. She hadn't known that that was the girl's name, of course—or even that she had become a Magical Girl until Nico had apparently told her—but still… Mami sobbed for the girl who might have gone witch because of her.

And just like that, Homura found self-loathing filling up her Soul Gem more than it ever had before. How could she- how could she still be unsure of and afraid around Mami, for what she had done in timeline three, when Mami was the kind of person to cry for the deaths of people she didn't even know?

How much- how much of a hypocrite was she? Homura asked herself, as she began digging her nails into her wrists and stomped her foot angrily—desperately hoping that the one action would lead to her getting a hold of herself…

She had… she had done far worse things than Mami ever had; and she had done it while coherent, all for the sake of Madoka and yet… here Homura found herself standing, being unable to forgive the person who had  _made_ Madoka Madoka.

She had always known that she was a failure as a protector, Homura reminded herself. But she hadn't known that she was a failure as a person, too.

And perhaps it was thoughts like this—regrets that were about to turn her into a witch, as well as her relief that Mami was all right—that prompted Homura to jog over to where Mami was resting and to wrap her arms around her, whilst they both cried.

It was fine like this, after all, Homura knew. As time was now currently stopped, Mami would never even know this one show of emotion that Homura was allowing herself for her. And thus… she'd never have to deal with the yellow Magi bringing it up or anything like that. For just a moment, Homura could cherish one of the friends she'd distanced herself from; ever since she'd decided her sole life's purpose was to protect Madoka and only Madoka. For just a moment, she could be a friend to Mami again: a friendship they both so desperately needed.

"Tomoe-san," Homura insisted sternly, as she gripped her first true friend to her tightly—because Madoka was much more than a friend to her, of course. "You mustn't blame yourself for this and everything. You mustn't be so fragile, because it only brings you down in the end. And I hate seeing the only one of us with a correct moral compass out of commission and hurting. You must be okay for me. Please, Tomoe-san. You must be vigilant, as this possible falsely made Nico might be targeting you. I don't want the person who truly saved me—as Madoka didn't know enough back then to be able to track me and save me from the witch herself—to die for staying on the right path, and allowing people to make their own choices. Tomoe-san…"

So uncharacteristically lost in her emotions was Homura, that she didn't even realize when her powers had worn off until Mami Tomoe gave a startled gasp, as she fell backwards onto her back behind her. "A-Akemi-san?" Mami let out, as she sat back up and set to dusting her outfit off.

Smiling, for the fact that Mami was okay and that she'd seemingly distracted her from her depressing thoughts, Homura decided that it was far time she ended this farce with Tomoe Mami and focused her thoughts on Madoka again. And in any case, she had some investigating to do about Nico...

...

"Homura-chan, let me help you fold that quilt up, okay?" Homura blinked confusedly at Madoka's words. At first, she wondered if her best friend was referring to what she thought she was. Then, though, Homura realized that Madoka was just being courteous, in wanting to help fold up the quilt they'd all been sitting on outside that day.

The only problem, though, was that Homura had hidden a ton of information in the folds of the quilt about their new "ally of justice" and companion. And though the girl with the cloning abilities didn't seem to have any ill will towards them at the moment, Homura didn't exactly want to lose all her reports on her, either.

But of course if Madoka ended up seeing it all... that would be exactly what she insisted Homura do. The pink Magical Girl was just that kind and good, but... she would be wrong to insist the spying on Nico stop, Homura told herself resolutely. "Madoka, I appreciate the offer, but I've got it. I need to work out my muscles more in this calm timeline. Otherwise, I'll be too out of shape when we fight Walpurgisnacht and that's not an option that I'm going to take."

As it turned out, that was exactly the kind of thing that would just make Madoka that Homura needed help, the time traveler found out, unfortunately.

…It really had been a mistake that she'd let herself get close to everyone again in this timeline, hadn't it? It truly was best for everyone's sake if she went it alone. And to that end, Homura was just about to do whatever she could to burn her bridges with her friends, though it would kill her to do so, but something stopped her.

"Don't you worry, Kaname-san. I'm more than willing to help out. And as it happens, I owe Akemi-san for being so concerned about me the other day, so I'll be the one to help her put her home back in order," Mami said with a wink, as she put a reassuring hand on Madoka's shoulder and ushered for her to go talk to Kyoko, who seemingly wanted Madoka about something.

Taking her end of the quilt she'd folded to meet Mami's side of it numbly, Homura tried to decide if it was a good thing that Mami had come to save her like this, or if it would have been better if the scene she'd played out in her head had come to transpire. Homura didn't want to say goodbye to them all after their fun times here, of course, but she maintained that it was probably for the best and just what she deserved.

"Akemi-san?" Mami asked, as she carelessly put the cover over Homura's incriminating documents without a word, and then went to go sit on one of the white lounge couches in the living room. "If I can be so frank, I'd like to ask you if Nico caused trouble for us in a different timeline and that's why you're having your issues with her?"

Shocked, as Mami's words reached her ears, Homura found herself falling to her knees in front of her companion, as she tried to figure out in what direction everything was going to go now.

It wasn't that she was surprised Mami had guessed correctly about Nico at all. Tomoe Mami had guessed a lot right about her in many instances before. But... was it a good thing that this otherwise peaceful area was starting to become just as gray as the other timelines she'd affected or did it just spell their doom? Homura wondered.

How she wished she could be on the right side of the new mystery events and understand what Tomoe Mami was getting at! As it stood, Homura was always the one who knew what was going on and she hated instances where she was as clueless as everyone else.

And that idea right there, though it had helped her save the girls many times, made Homura want to be sick. What did she deserve to know what was to come and try to prevent it when these girls, who were better than her in every way, couldn't?

"I'd be lying if I said that assessment was wrong. This Nico has yet to show any type of aggression towards us yet, but I refuse to let my guard down."

"I see," Mami answered with a small, satisfied smile on her face as she patted the seat next to her so that Homura would come and sit down beside her. Bemused by that, the brunette decided there couldn't be any harm in accommodating Mami's desire. Who knew? Maybe if she humored her right now, it would keep the golden girl from turning into a witch or killing herself again?

And in any case, if Mami did become a witch through their conversation, there happened to be a girl who had brought witches back as pseudo-humans in the other room, Homura thought bitterly.

"If you don't mind my asking... Homura-san," Mami said hesitantly as she tried to get her thoughts in order. If her pause came from seeing how broken looking her companion looked beside her—as Homura felt like she was about to cry—or because she was unsure of the new honorific, Homura didn't know. She nodded her head for Mami to continue all the same.

"You seem to be very focused on me as of late. Even moreso than Madoka. And though I don't profess to know you exactly, or to understand your motivations from the other timelines… it does seem a bit unlike you to do that, so... does that mean that you think I, in particular, am the one in danger here?"

_Yes_ , Homura thought angrily as she clenched her fists and fought the urge to slap Mami across the face to knock some sense into her.  _You are usually in danger from a lot of things, as you're the most fragile one out of all of us_ , Homura acknowledged—trying to decide if she was going to answer Mami at all or just walk away.

Also... she was definitely the most vain, Homura thought as she peeked an eye open and looked at the other girl. It was just like Mami to ask such a thing; she had been the one to try and become an idol in that one timeline, after all. But... if that was a sin, then she was just as guilty for it, too, Homura realized as she remembered that it had been her that had given Mami that idea in the first place.

"I..." Homura started awkwardly, whilst ending up realizing how out of practice she was with talking to people who weren't Madoka. "More than anything else," Homura insisted as she got a hold on herself and sat up straighter. "I wish I knew why it was you always sought to end your own life. In the past, it was not through Nico that you met your end, but by your own hands. Do you know how insulting that is to all of us? Do you know how much it hurts us and makes us lose our resolve? Do you have any idea how much it hurts me to see you lose yourself like that? Or even worse... just what it's like to lose you, when you're our leader and one of my first friends?

"You're selfless, Tomoe Mami, when you kill yourself, because you don't want to become a witch and curse people. And I guess, even more than that, you don't want to have to kill former Magical Girls to survive, but you don't think about our feelings in the matter at all, and so you curse us that way."

_Wh-what have I done_? Homura pondered, just as tears began dotting Mami's eyes and she realized all the things she'd admitted that she hadn't meant to. And even worse: she'd said most of it callously. She'd cried somewhat during her spiel, sure, but for all Mami knew, they could have been angry tears.

In a way, Homura supposed her hellish existence wouldn't be complete until Mami tried to attempt suicide  _after_  she had just told her not to, because of both of their misunderstandings about each other. And if that were to happen, Homura thought that that might finally be the final nail in the coffin that would make her give up and put a bullet through her own skull.

If- if her attempted kind words hurt Mami in such a way, what would that say about what she could do to Madoka, who was much more sensitive and forthright? Would she drive her beloved to try and shorten her life for the first time that she wasn't turning? Homura couldn't even bare the thought of that. And...

"I've lost you again, haven't I, Akemi-san?" Mami asked, with a surprising gentleness, as she nudged Homura's shoulder to pull her out of her disastrous thoughts. "I... apologize greatly for that disservice I've caused you, Homura...-chan. Yes, you are an intimate friend to me if you grieve so much for me, aren't you? And though I can understand the motivations behind my actions when you explain it to me so, I was indeed selfish in how I went about things. I'm sorry for that. But you understand why it is I do what I do, don't you?

"I... I hold so much grief in not being able to save my parents, and the only way I thought I could make up for it all was by saving as many people as I could. But when I learned, even in this timeline, that I'll just become a witch in the end... it makes my entire existence seem like a curse instead of a blessing. It negates everything I've done and makes me feel like I've spit on my parents' memory. Those are the reasons I've often chosen to die, I'll bet, and it had nothing to do with any of you."

Well, that wasn't entirely true, Homura thought as she remembered with dread the time that Mami had tied everyone up... or the time that she'd tried to end her own life in the moment she tried the same thing with Sakura Kyoko's... but, since that had only happened two times, Homura decided she was going to try and let it slide.

Mostly because it was such a relief to hear from Mami's own voice that it was never because she wanted to punish or lose them that she wanted to die, but for other reasons. Homura had always suspected that much herself, but... it felt so much better hearing it from Mami's own mouth.

If nothing else, at least she knew that the golden Magi had never gone into the great beyond while thinking that all her friends hated her or something. At least there was that.

"You have to promise me!" Homura said emotionally and urgently, as she grabbed onto Mami's arm tightly before she could stop herself, and found herself feeling like she was about to come undone. "Mami... you must promise me that if all goes wrong in this timeline, and I once again fail to defeat Walpurgisnacht without casualties, you must promise me that you'll never kill yourself again! I know it's selfish of me to ask, and that you won't remember this, but I... I can't do this without you, Mami-chan. You've always been the best strategist and smartest Magical Girl I've ever known, and I can't hope to defeat Walpurgisnacht without your plans. I... Hey!"

Being pulled into Mami's embrace before she could stop it, Homura found herself freaking out for a moment—wondering if this was a good thing, and just how it was that she was feeling closer to Mami Tomoe in this timeline than ever before—but those thoughts didn't matter when Mami began patting Homura on the head and assuring her with her words.

And for the first time that Homura could remember in a long time... she felt good about something. At peace. Because before Mami had moved to kiss her on the crown of her head, she promised her that, "You're too pessimistic, Homura. While it's true that, logically, I shouldn't be able to remember things in another timeline, the fact is we're Magical Girls who live to break the norm. So in that, if nothing else, I promise you that I'll never attempt to die by my own hand again. I promise."

And though Mami, of course, wouldn't remember the promise later on. Somehow, someway, she stayed true to her word and never tried such a terrible thing again. And for that, at least, Homura could be content and believe that some of the blood had been washed off of her hands.

At least in one way she'd saved Mami Tomoe and that was the first time she'd been able to accomplish such a thing at all.

Nestling her head into the crook of Mami's arm so that she wouldn't see it, Homura leaned over and smiled like she had when she'd first defeated her own witch, alongside Mami and Madoka both.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> A piece that I really love, that I wrote for my best friend, Liz. I wrote this for her birthday: mainly because Mami is her favorite Magical Girl and Homura’s mine, so we often use these two’s relationship to define our own. In fact, she (BlueRose729 on deviantArt and BlueRosesBurnBlue on Tumblr, respectively) has done some amazing fanart of the two, that you should all check out;)
> 
> Also, I really loved these two’s friendship. I think there’s a lot of importance and tragedy to it that a lot of people overlook. I think its one of the most meaningful relationships in the series, actually, so I’m always glad when we get more Homura and Mami interaction somewhere.
> 
> If you can’t tell, this is a continuation of the second audio drama “Sunny Day Life” and… it pretty much mentions every canon Madoka thing I know. OMG. It has references to the PSP game’s different timelines, Oriko Magica, Kazumi Magica (especially Kazumi, seeing as how Nico ended up appearing here), The Different Story… so, so much. So kudos to everyone who gets all the references. And it helped me make the story more canon feeling, I think.
> 
> Another thing I tried to do was make sense of Homura and Mami’s evolution from The Different Story to Rebellion. If you read The Different Story, you’ll realize that Homura is TERRIFIED of going around Mami in that (probably because timeline three had happened recently in it). But in Rebellion, Homura compliments Mami, saying how she’s much stronger than she knows, and how she always felt bad about revealing the truth about Magical Girls to someone so fragile. 
> 
> So, yeah. I tried to show how they got from Point A to Point B and I think I did a decent job with it here: Mami promising not to go trigger happy on anyone again (and keeping that promise) probably would alleviate some of Homura’s fears. I hope you guys think so, too:)
> 
> And I totes did a parallel where instead of trying to attack Mami (or Bebe) during a time stop, Homura actually tried to comfort her during it, which I think is nice. It still breaks my heart to see them come to blows during that movie, and you can so tell that neither of them really wants to hurt each other.
> 
> Anyway, be sure to tell me what you guys think. Thank you. Peace.
> 
> And happy, happy birthday, Liz. You’re the best person ever and I hope you have a fantastic day, and that you like this even a smidgen as much as I love the fanarts you gave me;) LOVE YOU, dearest!:D
> 
> P.S. Homura learning to care about people other than Madoka a tiny bit ftw.


End file.
